About Pamela J. Wells

Pamela writes articles on conscious living, mindfulness, and meditation. She also writes inspirational articles, poems, and daily affirmations. She lives in Austin, Texas.

Conscious Connection – Mindfulness

Aliaksei Lasevich

Image Copyright: Aliaksei Lasevich at 123RF

When we are mindful, we are consciously aware. We are fully present and focused in the moment—the present moment. We are consciously connected. It has our total attention. When we are aware—our awareness—our true Self, is present and focused, consciously aware. When we see a beautiful flower, we are fully present, enjoying the beauty of the flower, and when we inhale the scent of the flower, we are consciously aware of that flower. We are not labeling or describing the flower. We are just simply enjoying it. We are not drifting off somewhere else, such as in the past or future.

Conscious awareness or mindfulness is focused awareness. When awareness is not focused on anything in particular, it is simply—pure awareness—the most peaceful and blissful experience you can have.

Thich Nhat Hanh, a Buddhist Monk, has written many books and given many talks on mindfulness. In his article, “Thich Nhat Hanh on The Practice of Mindfulness,” on the Shambhala Sun, he explained, “Mindfulness is always mindful of something. When you drink your tea mindfully, it’s called mindfulness of drinking. When you walk mindfully, it’s called mindfulness of walking. And when you breathe mindfully, that is mindfulness of breathing.”

When we become consciously aware, mindful, of our thoughts we can change them when they are destructive, when they create mental and emotional blocks, which prevent us from living our lives fully and joyfully. Destructive thoughts can also create a barrier between us and others, causing a break in our conscious connection. By becoming consciously aware of our thoughts, we choose our words wisely and only speak to others from a place of loving kindness. Our love radiates outward from within—naturally. When there is a disconnect between ourselves and others, it is unnatural. That is why we feel bad when we are unkind to others. So, to change that, we have to, first, become aware of our thoughts and thought patterns. You cannot ignore your thoughts and expect that your destructive thinking will go away on its own, because your habitual thought patterns are stored in your subconscious.

You can be mindful of a flower and be totally into the flower. You can be mindful of walking and be totally present in your walk, feeling the earth touching your feet. You can also be mindful of your thoughts when they come to you and recognize the thoughts that are destructive and unnecessary. Acknowledge them as destructive thoughts when they appear, that serve no purpose, and let them go. You can replace them with positive thoughts or just simply let them go and focus on just being present in the here and the now—in blissful awareness.

Copyright © 2014 Pamela J. Wells. All Rights Reserved
Image Credit: 123RF

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100% Self-Acceptance

Happy GirlWhen you accept your Self 100%, living a peaceful and joyful life is possible. Non-acceptance of Self, even at the least bit, makes it impossible to live peacefully and joyfully. Anything that you continue to identify with from the past—you must let go of. If you have regrets over past decisions and choices that you made and action(s) that you took, you have to let them go. If you blame yourself for others decisions, choices, and actions, you have to stop blaming yourself. If you are holding onto resentment and bitterness towards others—you have to let it go. You cannot control other people. Accept that and you will be at peace.

 

You cannot feel joy if you are not at peace.

 

When you become offended by others behavior (speech and action) and become defensive, resentful, and bitter—it means that you do not accept your Self 100%. When you accept your Self 100%, you are not psychologically effected by others behavior.

When you accept your Self 100%, you make changes to your environment when needed or you remove yourself from toxic situations or people who are projecting their toxic and psychological issues towards you. You understand that allowing that negative behavior to exist and continue where you live—in your environment, in your home—distracts you from living your life, a healthy life, and it also does not help the other person either. They will not stop what they are doing as long as you are allowing it to happen. It does not mean that you do not accept them, it just means that you do not accept their negative and toxic behavior to continue in your life. They have a better chance of changing and seeing their own behavior when you tell them to leave, that you do not accept their negative and destructive behavior.

Work is different. There’s not a whole lot that you can do when you work in a toxic and negative work environment, but you can choose to leave that environment and find another job; or, if you are able to, start your own business, even if it means you have less money starting out. Money does not = happiness. It can make your life more comfortable, but if you are stressed out all of the time over your work environment, then you are paying a price for that comfort, which does not seem all that comfortable when you take a step back and look at the big picture of the situation.

You may be lying in a hammock, thinking that you are enjoying nature, but are you? Are you really there—really present and aware of the beauty of nature and your surroundings? In reality you are not, if you are like most people, your mind is bombarded with thoughts about other things, such as how much you hate work, how much you hate your job; or, if it is Sunday, you are thinking about how much you hate having to go back to work on Monday. You have to accept that there is not a whole lot that you can do about your work environment. You can only change you, your perceptions, your attitude, your decisions and choices, and the actions that you take or do not take. You cannot change other people. Accept it—accept your Self—let go—change what you can change—and, if you are able to, find a more peaceful work environment.

Remember, especially when that little negative voice in your head tries to sabotage you and your life:

Peace and Joy can only be felt when there is 100% Acceptance of Self.

Copyright © 2012 Pamela J. Wells. All Rights Reserved
Image Copyright: 123RF.com

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Love & Hate Cannot Coexist

Pansy by Petr KratochvilHate shadows the heart. And where does hate come from? Notions! Faulty and false ideas and beliefs that create a wedge between you and others. Love comes from the heart, not the head. The head says, “I love you and you and you, but not you, or you, or you, because of this, that, and the other notions I have in my head.” That’s not how the heart works. That’s not how love works.

The mind is full of notions and is the master of trickery, even tricking you into believing what you think (if you let it), to the point of causing you to alienate yourself from others, all in the name of “a notion.” Give it whatever name you like. Without the notions, you can love naturally. As soon as a notion pops up, suddenly it’s me against them. I’m right, your wrong. My values are better than your values. Whenever someone attacks another, verbally or otherwise, love is being shadowed by hate and anger, and when that happens, it’s time to take a step back and go within, because the mind has tricked you once again, into believing that your notions are more important and valuable than love.

Whenever someone is verbally attacking another, the other person shuts down. All they feel and hear is negativity, anger, and many times, they also feel hate directed towards them. They have to remember that the other person’s behavior has nothing to do with them. When you encounter an angry person, remove yourself from the situation, and away from that person. Do not allow their toxic behavior to seep into your being and shadow you and your heart.

In some people, their head is so full of hate and anger, that it seems impossible that they even have a heart and are incapable of loving. The only hope that they have is found within themselves, but as long as they run their life from their head and their notions, nothing will ever change. They will continue to create their own suffering and misery, as well as cause others to suffer, who cross their path, if those that they meet live in their head as well instead of their heart.

Copyright © 2013 Pamela J. Wells. All Rights Reserved

Image Copyright: Pansy by Petr Kratochvi

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Living A Simple Spiritual Life

Yellow FlowersLiving a spiritual life is simple. Living in awareness is simple. There’s nothing spectacular about it. Living a dramatic life, filled with mental and emotional attachments to notions, beliefs, opinions, labels, comparisons, constantly competing with everyone over everything, not able to have a conversation with anyone without bringing up some personal achievement or trying to get a one-upmanship over another person only creates unnecessary suffering.

Delusional attachment to a mentally formulated identity, which derives personal value or feels devalued based upon profession, employment status, education, societal status, the amount of money/material assets one has or does not have, relationship status, the quality of the relationship—which all creates the illusion of separation and perpetuates unnecessary suffering.

Living in drama is addictive; otherwise, people would stop creating it and there would be much less suffering in relationships, in families and in the world. Trying to control or claim ownership of another human being also creates a tremendous amount of suffering. Instead of trying to control another, accept them, accept your Self 100%, and accept the fact that you cannot control another living being. If you cannot meet eye to eye or they go their separate way, so be it. Accept it; otherwise, you will suffer. People come in and out of our lives. Trying to cement a relationship only creates more fear and anxiety from trying to make something solid and permanent that is impossible to solidify. Our relationships are fluid. They move and it is impossible to know how long a relationship will last.

Enjoy the present moment, each moment, regardless of who you are with, if you are not with anyone—enjoy it. Don’t waste your life sitting around trying to control other people or dwelling on being alone and wanting someone in your life. Go out and enjoy life Now! Live life filled with gratitude and appreciation. Be Selfless and non-attached!

Living a Simple Spiritual Life Is Peaceful & Joyful.
Living a dramatic life filled with attachments
to notions and beliefs, to another living being,
has only one outcome—suffering.

 

Copyright © 2012 Pamela J. Wells. All Rights Reserved
Image Copyright: BigStockPhoto.com

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